


Blind Bet

by Mi_n_ico



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Chimera Ant Kite is Good yall are just cowards, Hisoka is a good boyfriend fight me, Multi, POV First Person, This is the weirdest thing I’ve written so far, ambiguous Kite for the win, and it’s not even that weird, cause it’s easier to make Kite an ambiguous lead that way, its just... experimental, population me, roommate au, technically, welcome to rarepair hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-02-29 22:25:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18787462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mi_n_ico/pseuds/Mi_n_ico
Summary: in this week’s addition of Crack Ships Literally Nobody Asked For…Gon’s circle of friends is large, and are all currently regrouping in Yorknew after the disastrous Chimera Ant business. After such a busy time they all decide to settle in for a few years and participate in society at some level. Oddly enough this goes well, despite one of them being a literal bug rat. A very cute bug rat with freckles, but a confused, irritated, and generally uncomfortable bug rat nonetheless. And with Illumi off sulking over all his siblings hating him… well Hisoka has a type, and it happens to be “weirdos who are confused and upset”





	1. Begin again- Taylor Swift

**Author's Note:**

> so fun fact I’m naming chapters after songs from the playlist I made for this story, cause tbh I really like this playlist I think it really captures how much I hate Ging as a person even though it’s not about him. Also there are only 2 fics with this pair on the entirety of ao3 and im frankly confused because one of them based their entire fighting style and aesthetic off a game one uses to gamble and can use their Nen to cheat death, and the other is Hisoka. I mean, slots, cards, it’s a hell of a lot better than what the rest of you are doing with Kite! Seriously, the whole Kite tag is cursed. So I’m coming at you with some GOOD WHOLESOME FLUFF. Cleanse ya souls. Find peace.
> 
> Also this is gonna be in first person from Kite’s perspective cause it’s easier to play up the ambiguity and really get some deep introspection that way. Also cause even though I’m writing this I’m still not sure which direction to take Kite. Luckily in English we only have one “I” so I don’t have commit yet!

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid  
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did  
I've been spending the last eight months  
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end  
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again  
\--

 

“You have no idea how terrified I am.” 

Gon looked up from his phone, smiling just a bit, “It’ll be fine! I never told them much about you, other than you knew my dad and you were cool. Plus between Killua and Kurapika anyone who says anything stupid won’t get away with it.” 

I sigh a bit and look down at my lap, “Not that. Well, yes that, but also the whole Chimera Ant business. That’s not going to go over well I’m sure.” 

“Well then I’ll have to beat up anyone who says anything bad!” he cries, jumping up to punch at the imaginary offenders. 

“Please Gon… don’t beat anyone up. Not until we find that restoration guru or whatever the hell it is.” 

Gon stops shadowboxing and comes to sit next to me.

“...so it’s about that phone call with my d- Ging.” 

I bite my cheek to keep from cussing. Gon always could read me like a book. 

“Maybe a little. He wasn’t exactly... Optimistic. Actually he laughed. Especially when I told him about the exoskeleton and how I legitimately cannot change how I look, body wise.” 

Gon furrowed his brow, “Well that wasn’t nice at all! After all he’s the one who paid for all the stuff the first time, I’d be mad!” 

I shook my head, “I think that’s what he was trying to avoid. You father is the type of person who thinks he can laugh off any issue and it’ll go away. This is… this is sort of just the straw that broke the camel’s back really. I… I got mad at him. I said things I shouldn’t have and… I told him to stop trying to contact me.” 

Gon gaped, “you did? But… you said he was y-”

“I know what I said. But I’ve had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. I got to have an actual childhood, a short one but a good one! And I think… I think I only saw Ging the way I did because he was all I had. But now I have more! I have you, Killua, and soon everyone else you’ve wrangled into your grasp. I don’t need someone to cling to. And… well frankly, comparing the options, Ging isn’t shit compared to what I have here.” 

Before the conversation could continue, the airship intercom chimed in to tell them they’d be landing in Yorknew city. 

Gon jumped up to go call Killua, who’d be meeting us at the gate. I sat there and listened to him chatter along for a minute before getting up myself, and gathering our stuff. 

I hummed absentmindedly while I tidied up. The one thing I actually really liked about the new me (aside from not looking like a methhead pulled through a taffy puller- can you tell my self esteem is in the shitter?) was my voice. I’ve got a decent singing voice, which makes singing much more fun. It’s not like I didn’t like singing before, I just got self concious of my voice. Somewhere between puberty and health stuff and all this other crap, my voice sort of got deep and gravelly and I just didn’t know what to do with it. Everyone else liked it plenty, Ging never shut up about how deep it was and how “fitting” it was. Fitting to what? It’s a voice. And I always wished I hadn’t let everyone else convince me to change it. Cause you know, they told me I was supposed to. I was supposed to do a lot of things. 

And now I’m back to square one with it. Or, rather, what I would have been without it. Plus an exoskeleton and a tail, which was admittedly neat. 

I often wonder what the point of all of it was, when I knew that eventually I’d have to use Zero and get reset. 

But there’s no use now. Now I have what I’ve got and that’s it. 

Simple. 

All I’ve got to worry about now is making a good impression on Gon’s friends and finding something to do with my life.

True to form Killua and Alluka were waiting for us by the exit, both looking absurdly happy to see us. 

The topic of conversation quickly landed on our lodgings and length of stay. As it turned out, one of their friends was in medical school and was getting transferred to an in-house learning program at a Yorknew clinic, and had a rather large apartment ready for the group to share. He had the program spot for a year, and could re-apply if he did well while doing the rest of his book classes online, which set them up for up to three years. 

Other than that there was their estranged revenge-driven friend, who was recently brought back to the group due to health problems brought on by his lifestyle. Between those two and the group on their way that was six people, not to mention anyone else who happened to be in the city, which would likely be at least a few people. Apparently there was one guy who tended to show up wherever they did anyway. 

As it happened, the apartment provided for the program was very big, more of a condo really. We still had to pay a significant chunk of rent, but it was nice, four bedrooms and a decent view. 

After climbing up to the third floor and heading into the apartment we were greeted by two people chatting in a sea of cardboard boxes. 

Gon and Killua burst into the room, nearly screaming, taking the two by surprise. 

They take it well, laughing as the boys tackle them, nearly knocking over the taller one. 

I just sort of linger in the doorway, holding my singular duffle of random clothes I picked off a thrift store rack the day before we got on the airship. Gon had a suitcase. Killua had five, three of those were probably Alluka’s. 

It was the tall one who finally noticed me standing there, reaching out a hand to shake. 

“You must be Kite! I’m Leorio.” 

I didn’t hesitate, and for a moment I was confused when he flinched. 

“Oh. Exoskeleton.” I blurted, realizing why he was confused, “I’m not human. I used to be. Long story short my nen ability gave me a one-time chance to cheat death and it scrambled me into a chimera ant body due to that being the only birth happening nearby. I basically hijacked a baby. I don’t know where Reina is, hope she’s having fun wherever she is. I took her body.” 

Leorio blinks a few times and laughs, “That is… exactly as cool as Gon said you’d be.”

Kurapika jumped into the conversation then, “Hijacking a baby. Honestly not the weirdest nen ability I’ve ever seen. I once met a woman who could show you memories by shooting you in the head.” 

“That sounds significantly less annoying than a sentient slot machine that chooses your weapons for you, which is what else my nen ability consisted of.” 

“Why would you do that to yourself?” Alluka suddenly shouted, “that’s worse than deus ex machina demonic possession which is basically what I’m stuck with.” 

“I mean half of mine kills me a little every time I use it. I’m pretty sure Leorio, Killua, and Gon are the only ones here with functional abilities.” Kurapika noted. 

“I think being a mess is a requirement for being a hunter, really.” Killua concludes, “but that doesn’t mean the apartment has to be! Let’s get unpacking!” 

The rooms were as such: two 11x12 singles, a 10x14 double, and a 12x14 master. Alluka and I each got one of the smaller rooms, Gon and a Killua took the middle one, and Leorio and Kurapika took the master. 

It quickly became apparent that my duffel bag wasn’t nearly enough to make that room mine. We had a full bed frame Leorio picked up at a garage sale with a bit of damage to the headboard, a mattress, white sheets, an old dresser from whoever stayed here last, and a single small bedside table. 

All my clothes barely put a dent in the dresser (which we put in the closet since the door was missing anyway) and I didn’t even have a bedspread. 

It was Kurapika who eventually noticed. 

“Where’s all your stuff?”

“Oh uh… well, I don’t really have anything else. I was always traveling for work before and in regards to this new life, my whole house is kinda gone. Not that I need any of it, it was all kids stuff. Once Gon woke up we kind of just jumped from hotel to hotel until Leorio called with the news.” 

Kurapika looked kind of shocked, but it soon melted into an almost motherly smile, “well since Leorio’s doing his best to put together a bookshelf and his best might not be enough, why don’t we go out and pick up a few things? I heard from Gon that you like secondhand shops, I spied a few on the way here from the airport.” 

Safe in the knowledge that Leorio was preoccupied and the kids were helping string fairy lights around Alluka’s ceiling and it would probably take a while, we set out. 

It was the most glorious part of spring when the air was thick with shit humans were never meant to breathe and flowers filled every open space. The shade of the flowering trees was just cool enough to be uncomfortable, and the sunny spots were perfect.

We hit a few small shops along the Main Street, managing to snag a few more clothing pieces and some miscellaneous decorations for my room before we reached the chain second hand shop, one of the big donation ones with bins everywhere for people to dump their unwanted things, that sort. 

It was big, a big concrete box in the less crowded part of the shopping district, set apart in its own big lot. 

And it was white walled, white floored, rows and rows of stuff as far as the eye could see. 

Exactly my kind of place. 

I never liked buying things new, it never quite sat right with me given my upbringing. Plus new clothing had that tendency to be either expensive or shitty, thrifting just made the most sense to me personally. 

Plus I just really liked it. The mystery of it, the hunt. You never knew what you’d discover! 

I lost Kurapika within five minutes of entering the shop, paying more attention to the signs saying that all orange tags were $0.99 and all pink tags were 50% off. 

I’d amassed a significant pile of crap, all slung over an arm, in less than ten minutes. My method was simple; I walked up and down rows, dragging my fingers along the clothes until a texture I liked came around. I’m decently particular about texture, a lot of things are stretchy and tight but transparent and I don’t know why people make clothing like that it’s a sin. But I look at every good-textured piece and pick out ones that don’t look horrendous. 

You really just have to know what you’re looking for, what you like. 

For me it’s clothing with a lot of texture, and earth tones. 

I went a bit out of my comfort zone and snagged a skirt, actually. Mustard yellow, thick fabric that drapes nicely. Frankly what happened is I pulled it out, leaned to look at it close, saw how nicely my hair looked next to it, noted it was an orange tag, and said “well can’t beat that!” 

But my arms were full of clothes and I didn’t feel like carrying any more. 

I wandered around to the back section with all of the non clothing shelves, and right when I was thinking that grabbing a cart might have been wise, Kurapika appeared with one. 

“You’re a life saver! With those tag sales I just grabbed everything and then remembered we were here for furniture!” 

Kurapika laughed, “You’re as bad as Killua!”

“What! It’s cheap!” 

We continued on, eventually wrapping around to a display of records, all priced at $3.00. 

I flipped through them while Kurapika was looking at paintings nearby. We didn’t own a record player as far as I knew, but I thought having a few to hang up on my wall might look nice. 

Plus I could always get a record player later. 

As I was lost in the stack I didn’t notice that the other person browsing was getting close to me until our hands gently brushed. 

I yanked back, planning to quickly move away but his voice froze me. 

“Oh, sorry.” 

There was something striking about it. His voice was smooth, confident, at ease. I stopped moving and peeked up through my bangs at him. 

He looked unnervingly familiar, but I had no idea who he was. 

His hair was a red color, looked freshly dyed too. It wasn’t styled, but the way the strands curved away from his face suggested he pushed it back out of habit. His clothes were well fitted, a light blue top and a pair of high waisted pants. 

And his eyes were strikingly gold. 

“Oh, it’s fine!” I squeaked out, holding the record I’d chosen over my chest like a shield, “I… you look sort of familiar, have we…” I trailed off, realizing it was a stupid question, as only Gon and the people in the conflict even knew who I was. 

The man chuckled breathily, “you probably know me from Heaven’s Arena, I’m a floor master there. Does Hisoka ring a bell?” 

Images flashed in my mind of stories Gon had told me, and I sighed in relief, “Sort of, you know a friend of mine and he talks about you a decent amount. I’m Kite.” 

Hisoka’s eyes trail off behind me and I can see concern flash in his eyes before he smiles and waves as what I can only assume is Kurapika behind me. 

I turn and back up to allow him into the conversation, and feel my stomach drop when I see Kurapika’s expression. 

He’s not happy. 

Hisoka took the lead, “Kurapika, fancy seeing you here! What brings you back to the city?” 

“I’m taking a break, actually,” Kurapika admitted, “health problems. What brings you around?” 

Hisoka shrugged, “Same as you I suppose. Illumi cut me off and I can’t get ahold of Chrollo, nothing much to do so I’ve been hanging around. Who all is here?” 

Kurapika looked like he didn’t want to answer but he didn’t lie, “Oh, everyone really. We’re all regrouping after a few mutual disasters. The kids and Kite are holding up in Leorio and I’s apartment for the time being. He’s here for an in house learning program.” 

Hisoka frowned, thin eyebrows furrowing, “Yes, I heard about the ants. I truly wish I could have been there to help but I was busy keeping Illumi off your backs. He wouldn’t have been any help with the kids running around. Is Gon okay?” 

This seemed to be the best chance for me to jump in, “As fine as he can be, considering he can’t use his Nen for now. We’re working on finding someone to help but for now we’re really just lucky he’s alive. We’re lucky anyone got out of that alive.” 

Hisoka seemed genuinely upset at that, “can't use Nen?” He echoed, “as in… was it sealed or…?”

I shook my head, “he overexerted himself, and the restoration Alluka did… well he woke up which is better than it was looking before. There’s apparently restorers somewhere, or rumors of them, but our leads are null. For now we’re just focusing on getting settled in the apartment.” 

 

“I’ll call you later Kurapika, for now, I’ve got to run. It was nice meeting you!” Hisoka was out of there fast as lightning. 

I looked at Kurapika, he sighed. 

“...Hisoka is sort of a mentor of Gon’s. He likes to oversee the development of those with potential, since he’s so strong a good fight is hard to find. Gon is- was his prodigy. This… this is a blow. Especially after Illumi.”

“What happened with Illumi? That’s Killua’s brother right?” 

Kurapika nodded, pushing the cart as we moved toward the lines, “Hisoka and Illumi have a dynamic much like a Killua and Gon- that is they’d be married if they weren’t so stupid. Or at least it was that way; they had a devastating fight recently and cut all contact. It was over Alluka, you know there’s two sides to this fight and no room for middle ground. It was the kids or Illumi basically, and Hisoka chose the kids. It broke him though, he really thought he could change Illumi. He really thought there was a future there. But the two most important people in his life made him choose and well… If he wasn’t such a jackass I’d feel sorry for him.” 

“Illumi sounds terrible.” I concluded. 

“He really is. It’s unfortunate, because if he hadn’t given Hisoka that ultimatum they’d probably end up married.” 

“Well it wasn’t much of a fight!” I reply, “anyone with any common sense would side with Alluka!” 

“Love often makes people do ridiculous things.” 

I didn’t know why I felt so unfathomably melancholic thinking about the love life of this man is only just met. 

He was so clearly not over Illumi and I didn’t know why it upset me so. It wasn’t like I hadn’t loved someone who didn’t deserve it, I certainly had been there myself! But even so… I couldn’t help but feel nearly nauseous thinking about it. 

—


	2. Lottery- Jane Bird

I'll tell you about a guy  
That I've been with  
And you ask "How old as he?"  
And I laugh "26"  
"Nah but he’s thirty  
How messed up is that?"  
"Oh, forget it" he says  
"I'm a jealous man  
And I don't want to talk about that"

—

It didn’t take long for Hisoka to come back into my life, three days in fact. 

My room was looking a little less barren, with records hanging on the walls and a cork board above the table. There was a little jewelry box on the dresser and the bed was covered in mismatched pillows. 

Gon had a long phone call the day before, which should have been my first clue, but I was still surprised when the doorbell rang after breakfast. 

He was dressed less casually today, hair slicked back and makeup done the way he had it in the pictures Gon had showed me. And he brought muffins. 

It was endearing as hell watching him and Gon interact. Gon recounted the entire Ant Bullshit down to my head getting chopped off and how my nen ability allowed me to be instantly reborn and how ants mature so fast that I was already an adult again. And through it all Hisoka didn’t bat a goddamn eyelash, remaining fully focused through the entire thing. 

But Gon does have that effect on people. 

Soon enough it was time for him and Killua to head out in a not-date to a fro-yo place and it was just us. And Hisoka immediately headed for the door, motioning for me to follow, “come on, if Kurapika finds out I was even in the apartment without him he’ll pitch a fit. Let’s go grab coffee and spy on the boys.” 

There was a cafe right across from the shop where Killua and Gon were, and our table had a perfect view of theirs. 

I had a caramel something or other drink, and Hisoka had some kind of frappe that had to have a bajillion calories. 

And within five minutes of sitting down our intention of spying was gone as we recounted stories back and forth. 

“So I look up at Illumi and say ‘what about Killua’ just to fuck with him you know? And his bloodlust pulsed so hard every bird in a five mile vicinity evacuated instantly. It was so hard to keep myself from laughing because he knew I wasn’t being serious but he freaked out anyway and it’s just so like him you know?” 

I was practically falling off my chair, “that reminds me of when Gon was a baby and Ging kept trying to pawn him off on me and I knew the moment I took that baby he’d be heading for the hills and I was not about to fall for it! So I kept coming up with absurd answers! He’d be like ‘hey Kite can you watch Gon today?’ And I’d be like ‘sure I’m just going to go fight some Hyderagons!’ And he’d just fume cause he knows I just pulled it out of my ass but I’m also just spiteful enough to do it. Everything I do is out of spite, really. I ran out of energy to give a damn about anything so it’s all I have left.” 

“I feel you on a deep goddamn level, giving a shit is so tiring, I don’t know how people do it for eighty years at a time!” 

Our drinks were gone at this point but we didn't bother getting more or even getting up until over an hour had passed. And even then we were taking a long way back to the apartment, winding through side streets in an easy amble, talking of everything and nothing all at once. 

I told him about Ging and how I’d cling to him so hard I couldn’t even tell he was neglecting me. He told me about how Illumi wouldn’t know love if it bit him in the ass. 

The sun was warmer than it had been the day I’d walked those streets with Kurapika, the type of warm that makes you forget it isn’t yet summer. And I’d felt comfortable enough to take my jacket off, confident that my oddly jointed arms would not cause any worry. It was such a freeing feeling, even as a human I never wore short sleeves. 

It was nearly noon by the time we stood in front of the door, and it was with burning shock that I realized I’d just gone on a date. 

Our goodbyes were quick and I couldn’t even bare to look Leorio in the eye as I scampered to my room. Of course, he followed me. 

He leaned in the doorway, “So I heard from the boys that you went out with Hisoka.” 

My entire body froze, “We were spying on the boys!” 

“I heard not much spying got done.”

“Apparently a lot did on their end!” I tossed a throw pillow in the general direction of the door. It thumped uselessly against the wall. 

Leorio sighed, “did you have fun?”

“Yes, actually, I did. He’s a fantastic conversationalist.” I huffed. 

 

Leorio closed my door then and I groaned into my quilt. 

—

It took about two hours for Gon and I to start a screaming match over it. 

“If you’re going to insist that was a date then you and Killua were on a date too!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” 

“It makes perfect sense! If two people talking in a cafe is a date to you then two people talking in a fro-up place is too!” 

“Killua and I got our food, ate, then left and came right home. You got drinks, sat there for forty five minutes afterwards, and then wandered around the city for two hours telling each other your whole life stories! You know things about Hisoka I don’t even know and I’ve known him for like two years!” 

“He’s got a point.” Killua noted, not looking up from his phone, “we just wanted to see if the yogurt was any good, you were going with the express purpose of spending time with him.” 

“The purpose was to spy on you, it’s not my fault you two are boring!” 

Killua sighed, “Kite, what’s the big deal? Yeah, we all rag on Hisoka a lot but we’re not saying you can’t date him! All we’re saying is you have shit taste in men.” 

A pillow immediately flew at Killua’s head, only for him to duck and let it slam into Kurapika, who was just then entering the apartment. 

He helps and backs up a step, “what’s going on here?”

I freeze, “sorry! That was meant for the brat!”

He popped up, “You say it like I’m wrong!” 

“I don’t care if you’re right! You can be right and still be a brat!” 

Killua smirked, “so you admit it then, your taste in men is terrible!” 

I throw my hands up, “fine! I’m into douchebag fighters with weird priorities! You can’t even get your head out of your ass long enough to address the fact that you abandoned your whole life to follow Gon to the ends of the earth! A little more concerning than me having coffee with one guy you’re all frenemies with!” 

With that I went back to my room. I didn’t bother closing the door, instead just flopping on my bed.

I was alone for all of ten minutes, staring at the ceiling, before a quiet knock drew my attention to the doorway. It was Kurapika. 

I give a halfhearted smile. 

“Are you… okay?” He asked. 

I scoot to the far side of the bed and wave him over. He gingerly sits on the edge of the mattress, looking at me with concern. 

I pinch the bridge of my nose, “it’s apparently ‘antagonize Kite’ day.”

“So I’ve heard,” Kurapika agrees with a chuckle, “What was this about a date?”

I sigh, “well first of all it wasn’t intended to be a date when we went. This morning after you left Hisoka came over with muffins. And Gon and Killua were going out for frozen yogurt and for lack of anything else to do—Hisoka apparently had no plans aside from bugging Gon—we went to the cafe across the street from the yogurt place to spy on them. Nothing interesting was happening so we started telling stories and talking about stuff and after a while we left and walked around the city for a bit and he dropped me off here. And then everyone else decided the appropriate reaction was to freak out!” 

“Wait so the boys still aren’t admitting they’re absolutely dating?” 

I sat up like a bullet, “that’s exactly what I said!” 

We laughed together for a minute, and the heavy mood drifted steadily upward.


	3. Horses of the sun- Bat for Lashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this took forever and I'm sorry I kind of just forgot this existed tbh

You and me, we're more than on the run  
Busting at the heavens like the horses of the sun  
You and me, we're more than on the run  
Busting at the heavens like the horses of the sun

 

Spring faded into summer quicker than I would have liked. In late April some friends of the boys from way back showed up in the city, a man named Wing and his student Zushi. Zushi and Alluka became fast friends. 

Alluka had also found a very nice all girls private school that would take her in on scholarship if she passed the entrance exams, some new program called “diversity of opportunity” and a lot of her time was spent studying for and eventually taking the exam. 

Somewhere around mid May Gon and Killua admitted they liked each other and predictably, not much changed. In early June we caught Leorio and Kurapika kissing in the kitchen and that’s when that became a thing. again, no one was surprised in any way.

And with everyone else off in their own little world I hung out mostly with Hisoka. 

I’d hesitate to call it dating, but I’d accept “going out” as a good description. If I was chaperoning Gon and Killua on a date (Leorio insisted on it once they were together properly) Hisoka would probably tag along. We went out for ice cream and to mini golf and all sorts of other activities, trailing just behind the boys for some semblance of privacy. 

And the rest of the group slowly warmed up to him as well, once they were satisfied in his intentions not being murder. 

it all took a bit to transition, still. He and Kurapika never really managed to see eye to eye, and not just because Kurapika is shorter. Still, both of them tried which was what really mattered in the end. 

(Although, I'd appreciate fewer arguments at dawn. Can't do miracles though.) 

But aside from that we all just let one day fade into the next, sometimes together, sometimes apart. 

Eventually the group as a whole was hanging out at a park, and in the shade of a tree I was lounging with Hisoka’s head across my knees. 

“Hey,” I say suddenly, “can I ask you something?” 

He opens one eye, “what’s up?” 

“Well…” I hesitate, “I was talking to Kurapika the other day and he sort of mentioned that you’ve been… not acting like yourself? I mean I wouldn’t know but… is everything okay?” 

He chuckled breathily, “Yes, everything is okay, which is why I’m acting so different. I guess the drama was all a wake up call, that the reason I was so bored and unfulfilled in life was because I’d exhausted the path I was on. I followed the group to the city because I figured that as usual where Gon goes, fun follows. And I was right! Sure it’s not quite so thrilling as egging on Chrollo and Kurapika and instigating war, but I’ve never really been able to just… exist. And turns out it’s nice to have some down time to spend with people who actually give a damn whether you live or die.” 

I sighed, “you’ve got that right. Gon has a way of building a home out of anything, it’s really sweet. The extrovert who adopted all these outcasts and introverts and ended up with something resembling a family.” 

“Have you figured out what you want to do?” 

I pause, then smile, “I think... I’d like to go to college. Never had the chance before, but I should be able to just flash my license and get in, right?” 

He didn’t respond. I didn’t continue. 

Gon, Killua, Alluka and Zushi were playing some rudimentary keep away game over in the sunshine. Leorio and Kurapika were relaxing on a bench, Kurapika’s head on Leorio’s shoulder. We were just a group of people relaxing in a park.

It was so strange how losing my humanity gave me my first ever chance at a normal life. And while I knew it was only a matter of time before our lives caught up with us and we were sent back into the chaos we’d grown used to, I was, in that moment, more than content to just let it be. 

—

Turns out I really could just waltz in and flash my license. I had to fill out paperwork and stuff but more or less the Hunter status took care of it. 

The school I chose was small, but offered full degrees in most things and had a good reputation as far as fair treatment and social consciousness. I thought about history for a time but eventually settled on education as my field of choice. Vaguely considered double majoring in social work, but decided against it for the time being. 

My classes didn’t start until fall though, leaving the whole summer to goof around. 

I spent a chunk of it attempting to learn to paint, and the rest of it was full to the brim with socializing, enough that I almost never wanted to speak again. What time wasn’t spent herding the increasingly large gaggle of kids in my life was spent on totally not serious dates with Hisoka, the denial strong as steel until he started kissing me goodnight and showing up first thing in the morning with my favorite coffee. 

It was one such morning, where we ended up on the tiny balcony to make sure we didn’t wake anyone up, that I finally admitted to myself the truth I had been pointlessly denying: I had a boyfriend. 

What ended up pushing me over the edge was a seemingly unrelated question. I’d been sitting with my legs between the metal supports for the guard rail, kicking my legs. Hisoka was behind me, hugging me around the waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. 

And he murmured in my ear, “you don’t talk much about Ging, all things considered. Did he ask you not to or do you just not think about it?” 

I froze up and thought the question over. 

“I… honestly I don’t think I’ve thought about him at all. Not since the first time we talked about it.” 

“Not since the day you met me?” He asked coyly, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. My skin practically burned. 

“If you feel like being conceited, sure.” I played it off, trying and failing to hide my racing heartbeat. 

A clatter of dishes in the sink alerted us to Leorio’s awakening, and no doubt everyone else. 

With a sigh, I let Hisoka help me up and we headed back inside to help with last night's dishes and get started on breakfast. 

—

Eventually real life began to creep up on us. Flashing a hunter's license for every little inconvenience wasn’t the best way to gain a reputation so we’d been living off savings for a while. The money was running out and life waits for no one. 

Hisoka had to go back to Heaven’s arena for a bit, they didn't like it when he took long breaks. Kurapika got a job at a small book store, and I took to selling my better paintings down at a local farmers market when I had paintings good enough. 

Alluka had gotten the results back and was now enrolled in the school, so she was studying non stop just to make sure she was kept up, especially in language, as most of the students there were fluent in French, having gone to the school for some time and being taught it. Killua and Gon were looking into online school, as something to do at the very least. I'd become afraid that they were getting too cooped up in the apartment, so I definitely pushed for school or sports, something to keep busy with while the rest of us would be working. 

It did feel like there was a hole in our little home, but we were all too busy to think about it. 

I took every possible chance to hog the phone and talk to Hisoka during the month he was gone, and we never missed a match on tv, but it really wasn’t the same. And even though I knew damn well that there wasn’t a soul on earth who could kill him, I was overcome with anxiety every time he took to the ring. Leorio assured me that was normal. 

In any case, it was the height of summer, money was a chief concern until Hisoka could safely return with his winnings, and we were in limbo until the leaves turned red.

**Author's Note:**

> Kite, you dumbass! You big gay dumbass! Ugh it’s such a mood though “why does this guy having a crush make me so fucking sad???” CAUSE YOU LIKE HIM. Idiot.


End file.
